Monday, March 31, 2014

Mondays with Martha

8 Signs You're In The Right Relationship


When it comes to finding "The One" -- that one special person and relationship that will last a lifetime -- the conventional wisdom is simply, "When you know, you know." That's all fine and dandy, but many of us require something more concrete than just a gut feeling.
We reached out to marriage and relationship experts to help us pinpoint the most telling signs that you're in the right relationship. Find out what they had to say below.
1. You know what your partner needs to feel loved -- even if those needs are different than yours.
Some people feel loved when their partner brings them a cup of coffee in the morning. Some need their spouse to tell them how beautiful or handsome they look. Others require sex and physical forms of affection. The point is, each of us has different preferences when it comes to giving and receiving love.
"We have to teach our partner to love us and not expect them to read our minds," sex and relationship expert Dr. Tammy Nelson said. "You know you are with the right person when they tell you what makes them feel loved and you are happy to generously lather them with whatever they need. And they do the same for you."
2. You fight, but you do it productively.
Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but how you handle those disagreements can predict whether or not you'll be together in the long-run. "How both of you behave now when you have a disagreement also says a lot about how you will (or won't) resolve problems in the future," Dr. Terri Orbuch -- relationship expert and author of Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship -- told The Huffington Post. "A good relationship is one where the two of you fight fair. In other words, you don't curse, scream, talk down to each other or dismiss each other."
3. You get a confidence boost from your mutual physical attraction.
"Feeling sexual attraction and sexually attractive is a life force like nothing else," Iris Krasnow, author of Sex After...Women Share How Intimacy Changes As Life Changes said. "That person who ignites you from within, boosting your self-esteem and also offers external pleasures is definitely a keeper."
4. You two are different enough to keep things interesting, but you're on the same page where it matters most.
They say that opposites attract, and while that may be true at first, it's not necessarily a long-term predictor of relationship success. In fact, Orbuch's research has shown that the strongest relationships are those built on a foundation of similar underlying values and beliefs.
"It is okay to have different interests or movie likes, but similarity in key life values (e.g., views on money, the importance of religion or how you raise children) is what keeps people together over the long-term," she explained.
5. Your family and friends give the relationship their stamp of approval.
Despite what your once-rebellious heart might have told you, your family's approval of your significant other does matter. W. Bradford Wilcox, the director of the National Marriage Project, told HuffPost Weddings that high levels of social support from your nearest and dearest are crucial to a happy marriage. "Such friends and family often have a more objective view of your partner than you do," he said. "And their support can be invaluable after the wedding. We know that couples who have parents, in-laws, and friends who support them as a couple are much more likely to go the distance."
6. You feel comfortable getting a little adventurous between the sheets.
Couples in secure relationships report that they can combine spontaneous acts of intimacy with tender expressions of their love. "The best recipe for great ongoing sex does not seem to be finding more manuals to get bigger and bigger orgasms but tuning into each other and feeling safe enough to go with the thrill when it comes," Dr. Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist and author of Love Sense, told The Huffington Post.
7. You are willing to put the "we" before the "me."
A commitment to doing what is best for the relationship, rather than what is best for the individual partner, is a strong predictor of future marital satisfaction. "People who are marriage-minded should look for a partner who talks and thinks in terms of 'we' not 'me'," Wilcox said. "Someone who articulates shared dreams, shared values, and a willingness to put the relationship above his or her desires. Couples who put their marriage above their own desires are more likely to flourish."
8. You find yourself missing your partner when he or she isn't around.
Benjamin Le -- co-founder of -- says it's important to miss your partner when he or she is away. "If they are 'out of sight, out of mind,' that doesn't bode well," he said. "But if you have an emotional response to him or her being away, it's a signal that you really want to be with him or her."


Monday, March 17, 2014

Mondays with Martha

Happy St Patrick's Day Everyone! If you're out celebrating today or any other time, this applies.
I've been hearing it and observing it from both sides (men & women). I've written about and posted articles about this subject before and Here I go again! This may be a little tough love but it's important. 
So, Guys and Gals, If you what you're doing isn't working. If you want to make friends, and as I always say, or possibly make a love connection, Keep Reading.
When out at a singles event or anywhere, really, Notice the opposite sex. Look up and at each other with a friendly expression.

(See Mon. Feb. 17, 2014. Mondays with Martha, "4 Steps to Flirting Success" )

Now, Especially for women .
Don't let the rain keep you home. Don't let "I look too fat" stop you. Don't let going out by yourself stop you. (When you come to my events, you're never alone) Also, Ladies, when you do show up at a singles venue, Don't flock together like a gaggle of geese so absorbed in conversation that you appear not to be interested in men. Look up and around the room. Make eye contact. FLIRT!
What the guys tell me is that women aren't looking at

them or showing any interest. It appears to them that you gals are having a grand old time without them. Show them interest. Smile at them and  
Be Approachable. I understand that your smile or nod may not be returned but to the right one it will be 

Now for the men.
If you see a woman that you may be interested in, Approach! If you get up to bat and strike out, you try again. Women don't want to be rejected and neither do you. But you are the men. Women still want men to be men. So take the chance. You can miss an opportunity you'll never get again.
Martha's Singles provides opportunities for single people to get together, have fun, great conversation, getting to know each other and more. For those who haven't been in the singles scene for a while, or need fashion or style advice etc.
I offer a FREE 30 minute dating coaching session. (in person or on the phone) Call me #215-584-0188

Monday, March 10, 2014

Mondays with Martha

8 ways to up your sex appeal

Fashion designer/business woman Nadja Atwal was named Viva Glam Magazine’s sexiest power woman, beating out Ivanka Trump and Heidi Klum. The hard-working mom gives and gives, including these eight simple tips to help you up your va va voom!

1. Nail that 'I know' look. 
"Even if you don't know it, fake it," Atwal says. "Always maintain that face that tells others, 'I know exactly where I am going. I'm in control." Ya know?
2. Don't follow the fashion herd.
Forget the trends, and opt instead for styles that complement your body type. “Skinny jeans, leggings, mini-skirts and tight T-shirts only look great on lean bodies,” Atwal says. Oh—and don’t be afraid to leave something up to the imagination. “Being truly sexy also means being classy and knowing when to stop flaunting ... More 
3. Hot rollers are a girl's best friend 
Sophia Loren has called hot rollers one of her beauty secrets, and top models and hair stylists agree. "Those little hot magicians save tons of styling time and give any hairstyle more va-va-va-vooom," Atwal says. "Plus, your hair looks great all day, even the next day." (Reuters)
4. Stand up straight!
If you won't take this age-old piece of advice from your mother, take it from Atwal. "Chest out, shoulders back and chin straight up," she directs. "Not only does straight posture look better, it also oozes confidence." Yes ma'am! (Reuters)
5. Make others feel special 
It's not just making an entrance, Atwal says, but being remembered that makes all the difference. "Don't just shake the other person's hand," she advises, "repeat their name with an, 'It's so nice to meet you, Mary,' and be sure to spend more time asking and listening instead of going on and on about yourself." (Reuters)
6. Talk with courage and grace
Women who tell it like it is can be extremely desirable, Atwal says, as long as they can back up their opinion with facts, confidence and poise. "Admitting [calmly and confidently] that one has been wrong on an issue is an even sexier quality," she adds.
7. Great eyebrows make magic happen
"The eyes are the window to the soul, and the eyebrows are the frame," Atwal says. "So hit the waxing or threading salon and say, 'Bye bye, George of the Jungle... hello, George Clooney."(Reuters
8. Fix those toofers
"Smile and the world smiles with you, but only if you sport a decent set of teeth," Atwal says. "The casting directors in Hollywood always pay extra close attention to good teeth when casting a leading man or woman."
If you can't spend $20,000 on a set of veneers, pick up an at-home teeth whitening kit. "Not only will you look better ... More

Monday, March 3, 2014

Mondays with Martha

I Love You: 15 Ways Guys Say It Without Saying It (Part 2)


Here are the next 7 some subtle, silent ways to tell if he's thinking it.  The first 8 ways was posted Mon. Feb. 24th.

9. He Sticks Around
Does he like to do activities together for no reason? For example, rather than just wanting to meet up at a dinner party, he'd rather go grocery shopping with you beforehand so the two of you can make a dish to bring together. Simply doing household things shows an interest in being closer than just casual daters or sex partners.
10. Eye Contact Often
When you're at a bar with friends, does he glance across the room just to make eye contact briefly and smile at one another? This indicates how, even when you two are doing different things, he still wants you to be aware of how much he cares.
11. Hair Ruffling
When people are nervous, they tend to run their fingers through their hair more often than normal. Does he do this when the pair of you are in close proximity to one another and it’s a romantic moment? If so, it could show that he wants to say something intimate but can't find the words.

12. Mirrored Behavior
Does he tend to take bites of his food at the same time as you or do other things similarly? He could be displaying isopraxism, the matching or behaviors that couples tend to do when becoming closer together.
13. Meaningful Gifts
When I say 'meaningful,' I don't mean 'expensive'; I mean that he spends effort and puts serious thought into finding you something that truly fits your personality to a T. I had one guy give me three pairs of socks: one with a crazy cute pattern, one specifically for boots and one for high heels. The week prior, I had gotten a blister on my foot due to not having thick enough socks for a pair of boots I had just purchased, so it was super sweet and a clear indication of his listening skills that he remembered.
14. Frequent Laughing
Does he find you funny and can't help but giggle when you do something silly? As odd as it sounds, the more often he laughs and finds you hilarious, the more serious the level of interest and excitement surrounding your relationship is.
15. Spontaneous Touching
When you're in a public place, does he put his fingers on your back to keep you closeby? Does he hold your hand atop yours while you two are in a restaurant? Random closeness via touching shows that he wants to maintain physical contact, even when it's not sexual.