Monday, July 23, 2012

Mondays with Martha

Take your time and get to know each other. Read on...

 "Another Case for Taking it Slowly"

To make a long story short, I just witnessed a friend meet a guy, fall very quickly for him, get emotionally invested right away, and then nearly 6 months later… he poofs. His reason? He claimed to get scared about the possibility of a real commitment, future and marriage, which was too much for him to handle.
takingitslowinarelationship 200x300 Another Case for Taking it SlowlyHe played the potential love interest role perfectly, talked about having kids with her in a year if things kept progressing. He seemed just right for her. And then? His true colors were revealed. He went from adoring to aloof in an instant, and no longer wanted to connect or communicate. No one will ever really know if his reasons were legitimate, or if he is just the love ‘em and leave ‘em type, and that doesn’t even matter. What does matter is what we can all learn from the situation.
Could some of the heartache have been avoided? Maybe not, as we all get to learn valuable lessons through these trials. But here are some reminders and thoughts about the dating process…
• Date casually – for awhile (don’t start seeing them every other night!) . Keep the dates to once a week (or something in that realm) and definitely do not put all of your eggs in that basket. (Meaning, keep dating!)
• Play it cool and keep those emotions in check (and your feet on the ground). I know, easier said than done. But worth it in the end.
• People will reveal different aspects of their character and personality over time. So give things time. Give them the opportunity to show you who they really are. You can’t really know someone in two months.
• Pay attention to how they treat other people in their life. Don’t ignore any potential red flags because you are blinded by lust/infatuation.

I believe that slow and steady wins the race in dating – and can protect your heart most often. Falling in love can be an amazing experience, and shouldn’t be rushed on either end.
What do you think about the notion of taking it slow? Agree? Not?
 July 10, 2012

Monday, July 2, 2012

Mondays with Martha

Is it hot enough for you? We're having a heat wave!  Now, to heat up your social life!

Single people come in different packages.  They're looking for different things. Some just want to have fun, some want friendship others want lovers, most want both. Some are dating looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend, others want marriage. 

But whatever you want, nothing is going to happen if you don't have that first date.

So, for the some that don't know how to get over that initial hump.Here it goes.
Recently, I had a gentleman, late forties, tell me that when he meets a woman that he wants to see again, he  gives her his number or card and asks her, if she's interested to call him . He insists that today women are afraid or nervous and he doesn't want to scare them off.

Nonsense! Keep it simple! Don't overthink  it!
Real men ask for the date and the number. Women that are interested want you to call. That hasn't changed. Now ladies, if you are unsure or not interested, then you can say "I'd like to think about it. May I have your card? Don't be childish and give out wrong numbers.
Regarding safety, you're not giving out your address then and there, just your phone number. In the beginning, you can  always meet at a public place.