Mondays with Martha

4 Steps to Flirting Success

Resident dating blogger, Maura Kelly interviews pick-up artist and bestselling author of The Game Neil Strauss. Here are some ideas of out how to become an expert flirt. By Diana Vilibert

Flirting 101

Practice Small Talk
Before you approach a guy you're into, make sure you've got the basics of small talk down. "Challenge yourself to go out and make small talk with five strangers today," advises Strauss. "Don’t worry about whether they’re people you want to date. Approach grandfathers, other women, someone who’s not your type, whomever you come across. It’ll help you adjust to stepping out of your comfort zone."


Perfect Your Body Language
Want to get under his skin? "Get just a centimeter into a guy’s comfort zone, and look up at him with big eyes," says Strauss. The no-fail move? "Put your chest out, chin down, eyes high in the socket, head slightly tilted, and your weight on one foot. That’s important. If your feet are planted, they feel the resistance, just as much as they would if you had your arms crossed." Practice makes perfect--you might look like a cross-eyed chicken at first, but get it down right and it’ll make him crazy.

Ask for Help
When it comes to conversation starts, asking for his help or opinion is a sure thing, says Strauss. "Maybe it’s some article from a women’s magazine that offers some kind of advice and you want to know if he agrees with it or not. Or maybe it’s: "It’s my cousin’s birthday and I want to buy him a CD—but his taste hasn’t evolved since the 80's. Any suggestions?" Or maybe your friend just got a cat and you need a name for it."

Make It Fun—For You
"If it seems like you're trying too hard, whatever you're doing will come across as desperate," Strauss says. His advice? "Think: "I'm fun. I'm cool. I radiate charisma, I am free to do whatever the hell I want." The most important thing to remember while you’re doing all this flirting is to make it fun for yourself—because then it will be fun for the other person."