Monday, December 22, 2014
Mondays with Martha
Singles! Entertaining can be lots of fun! Here are 2 delicious and easy Christmas/Holiday Party Recipes. Enjoy!
Bacon-Wrapped Dates
Heat broiler. Stuff pitted dates with whole blanched almonds or press pistachio nuts into the dates, and wrap strips of apricot around dates before wrapping with bacon. Cut bacon strips into thirds; wrap each bacon piece around a date. Place bacon-wrapped dates, seam side down, on a baking sheet. Broil until bacon is crisp, turning once, 6 to 10 minutes. Drain on paper towels; serve warm.
Spicy Pecans
1 tablespoon coarse salt
2 tablespoons cayenne pepper
1 1/2 teaspoons paprika
1/2 cup sugar
2 large egg whites
5 cups (20 ounces) pecans
1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Line 2 rimmed baking sheets with parchment paper. In a bowl, combine salt, cayenne pepper, paprika, and sugar.
2. In a medium bowl, whisk egg whites until foamy. Whisk in spice mixture. Stir in pecans Spread coated pecans in a single layer onto the baking sheets. Bake for about 15 minutes, then reduce oven temperature to 250 degrees. Rotate the sheets in oven, and cook for 10 minutes more.
3. Immediately spread pecans in a single layer on clean parchment paper; let cool before serving or storing. (Pecans will keep, in an airtight container, up to 1 week at room temperature.)
Source Martha Stewart Living
Monday, December 15, 2014
Mondays with Martha
No matter what your marital status, Enjoy the Holidays! Make the most of what you do have. Accept any invitations, work parties, friend get-togethers etc.
If you're having difficulty meeting your romantic other; You may want to consider Dating Coaching or Personal Introductions. Gift Certificates for all Services on Website Purchases Page marthassingles.com/
Christmas Special Offered.
Martha's Singles now offering a New Service called: First Dates
This offer entitles you to one First Date @ $75.00 value $99.
If you're having difficulty meeting your romantic other; You may want to consider Dating Coaching or Personal Introductions. Gift Certificates for all Services on Website Purchases Page marthassingles.com/
Christmas Special Offered.
Martha's Singles now offering a New Service called: First Dates
This offer entitles you to one First Date @ $75.00 value $99.
A One Time Pre-Registration fee of $50 is required.
You can purchase any number of First Dates!
Questions, Call Martha # 215-584-0188 or E-mail martha@marthassingles.com
Monday, December 8, 2014
Mondays with Martha
Christmas or Holiday Party Buffet Tips with 3 Recipes
Easily Arrange a Large Buffet for party food spreads, set dishes at different levels so the table feels less crowded and guests can easily see every dish. Here are some great recipes for both men and women to make during the Holidays! Singles, have some fun before the party and prepare together!
Chicken kebabs with peanut dip Serves: 2
Easily Arrange a Large Buffet for party food spreads, set dishes at different levels so the table feels less crowded and guests can easily see every dish. Here are some great recipes for both men and women to make during the Holidays! Singles, have some fun before the party and prepare together!
-
Prep time: 10 mins
-
Cooking time: 10 min
- 2chicken fillets, skinless and cut into chunks
- 3tbsp natural yogurt
- 1tsp finely chopped fresh root ginger
- Pinch of ground turmeric
- Pinch of ground coriander
- Pinch of ground cumin
- Salt and freshly ground black pepper
- 2tbsp crunchy peanut butter
- 1tbsp soy sauce
- Squeeze of lime juice
- 1/2tsp curry paste
- 3tbsp natural yogurt
______________________________________
- FAST
- VEGETARIAN
Flatbush Farm • Brooklyn, NY
Flatbush Farm feels like a cross between a French bistro, an English
pub and a Brooklyn neighborhood joint, and the bar menu includes
corresponding comfort foods. One is this all-American, over-the-top,
cheese-smothered dip.
- 1 large jalapeño
- Four 9-ounce boxes frozen artichokes—thawed, drained and coarsely chopped
- 3/4 cup mayonnaise
- 3/4 cup freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese
- 1 garlic clove, minced
- 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
- 1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest
- 1 teaspoon kosher salt
- 1 teaspoon Tabasco
- 2 1/2 ounces sharp white cheddar cheese, shredded (1 cup)
- Crackers or sliced baguette, for serving
- Preheat the oven to 350°. Roast the jalapeño directly over a gas flame, turning, until charred all over. Let cool, then peel and seed the jalapeño and cut it into 1/4-inch dice.
- In a large bowl, mix the artichokes with the jalapeño, mayonnaise, Parmigiano, garlic, lemon juice, lemon zest, salt and Tabasco. Transfer the mixture to a 1-quart baking dish. Bake for about 15 minutes, or until hot.
- Preheat the broiler. Sprinkle the shredded cheddar evenly over the hot dip. Broil for about 2 minutes, until browned in spots and bubbly. Serve hot or warm, with crackers.
Port-Glazed Walnuts with Stilton
- 2 1/2 cups walnut halves (9 ounces)
- 3/4 cup sugar
- 3/4 cup ruby port
- 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
- 1 bay leaf
- One 1-pound wedge of Stilton cheese
- Preheat the oven to 350°. Spread the walnuts on a rimmed baking sheet and toast for 8 minutes, or until lightly browned.
- Meanwhile, in a large saucepan, combine the sugar, port, pepper and bay leaf and bring to a boil. Cook over moderate heat, stirring occasionally, until slightly thickened, 3 to 4 minutes. Discard the bay leaf.
- Add the walnuts to the saucepan, stirring to evenly coat them. Using a slotted spoon, drain the nuts very well. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and spread the walnuts on it in a single layer. Bake for 12 minutes, stirring once, or until the nuts are mostly dry; let cool. Separate any nuts that stick together.
- Meanwhile, simmer the syrup over low heat until it is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon, about 3 minutes.
- Set the Stilton on a serving platter and place the walnuts in a separate bowl. Drizzle the port syrup over the cheese and serve with the nuts.
Make Ahead
The nuts can be stored in an airtight container for up to 1 day. The
port syrup can be refrigerated for up to 1 day; rewarm before serving.
Monday, December 1, 2014
Social Circles
Join us Tuesday Dec. 16th 6 to 7:30pm
The Southampton Free Library
947 Street Rd, SouthamptonPA18966
FREE Event. All Ages Welcome!
Lots of Fun. Have a good time mingling with other singles!
Topic: Single during the Holidays, what to do?
Snacks/Beverages Provided.
RSVP Today!
Call Martha # 215-584-0188
Always a FREE Event held on the 3rd Tuesday night of every month.
(Exception April 2015)
947 Street Rd, SouthamptonPA18966
FREE Event. All Ages Welcome!
Lots of Fun. Have a good time mingling with other singles!
Topic: Single during the Holidays, what to do?
Snacks/Beverages Provided.
RSVP Today!
Call Martha # 215-584-0188
Always a FREE Event held on the 3rd Tuesday night of every month.
(Exception April 2015)
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Monday, November 24, 2014
Mondays with Martha
Thanksgiving is almost here. Martha's Singles hopes all of you have a Wonderful Thanksgiving Day! Many enjoy their family and friends sharing dinner and all the extra trimmings. They Give Thanks on this Most Special Holiday.
However there are singles, single men and women, single parents who don't have family or their family live far away so they're spending the day alone.
Ask your single friends, business associates and coworkers what they're doing for Thanksgiving. If they have no plans, this is the perfect time to set another chair or chairs at the table. Divorce, losing a loved one, or just being single without a significant other can be difficult during the Holidays. An invitation to Thanksgiving Dinner to people you know that just don't have extended family will add to the day for everyone.
For all the singles out there, Enjoy yourself on Thanksgiving and everyday! Live your life to the fullest. Make plans and remember love may be just around the corner.
www.marthassingles.com/
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Yesterday, Martha's Singles celebrated the One Year Anniversary of Social Circles! It was a great party. Lots of fun was had. We enjoyed the company of our single friends and made new friendships. There was plenty of snacks and drinks. The cake was delicious. Everyone received a Goodie Bag. Thank you to those who brought something to the party. It was much appreciated by everyone.
At Social Circles there's always a Topic relevant to singles. Whether you're divorced, widowed or never married, you can take away something that will help you in your dating life. We mingle and talk. Lively discussions. All ages are welcome.
At Social Circles there's always a Topic relevant to singles. Whether you're divorced, widowed or never married, you can take away something that will help you in your dating life. We mingle and talk. Lively discussions. All ages are welcome.
Monday, November 17, 2014
Mondays with Martha
Whether you're a single parent or married with children; Keep the Romance! You've mastered the play-date, but now it's time for the date-date.
Singles, Don't let children stop you from making the most of the dating pool! Marrieds, Remember why you got married.
For single parents: Younger kids are more pliable than older kids to accepting a new person in their parent's life. Your kids may have mixed feelings about you dating. Smart single parents don’t let their children dictate their personal lives, but they do listen and give serious consideration to how the children feel. Always talk to them throughout your dating experience, especially as relationships become more serious. Benefits for you are you have an adult companion and someone who can help balance your life.
For all parents: A happy fulfilled person is a better parent. Love being a mom or dad and although it is wonderful it is not all that defines you.
So whether you're single or married with kids don't neglect your love life! Take care of yourself, your health and frame of mind. Relax, Have fun! Keep up with appearances. When you look good you feel good.
Interested in Dating/Relationship Coaching? e-mail martha@marthassingles.com.
Singles, Don't let children stop you from making the most of the dating pool! Marrieds, Remember why you got married.
For single parents: Younger kids are more pliable than older kids to accepting a new person in their parent's life. Your kids may have mixed feelings about you dating. Smart single parents don’t let their children dictate their personal lives, but they do listen and give serious consideration to how the children feel. Always talk to them throughout your dating experience, especially as relationships become more serious. Benefits for you are you have an adult companion and someone who can help balance your life.
For all parents: A happy fulfilled person is a better parent. Love being a mom or dad and although it is wonderful it is not all that defines you.
So whether you're single or married with kids don't neglect your love life! Take care of yourself, your health and frame of mind. Relax, Have fun! Keep up with appearances. When you look good you feel good.
Interested in Dating/Relationship Coaching? e-mail martha@marthassingles.com.
Monday, November 10, 2014
Mondays with Martha
Some truths about dating: Amazing first kisses and hearing the ‘text received’
noise and seeing it is actually is from your crush are some great things about dating.
Being stood up and feeling frustrated that you haven’t met someone in a while are some hard
things about dating. If the cons are outweighing the pros right now, here's some encouragement:
If you're doing a great job dating:
- You’re not worried about the "what ifs". What if you had gone on a third date with that guy you were lukewarm on? What if you had gone to that party instead of staying in to read a book? The answers don't matter. You’re thinking ahead.
- You know what you want–even if you're not getting it. Friends and family will have their say. Don’t let them. You’ll never reach your goal if you don’t know what it is.
- You’re keeping an open mind. No defeatist proclamations about there being no good single people left and how you’re going to die alone. Just because the last date didn’t work out, doesn’t mean the next one won’t. Stay positive.
- You’re doing a pretty good job getting over your ex. Even if thoughts of him or her come to you in the middle of your day, it doesn’t matter. It's kind of haunting you but you’re still looking forward.
- You are not your dating life. You’re a lot more than what’s going on in that one department of your life. You have friends you go out with, you just started a new project at work, and you have your personal interests. All together it doesn’t seem so bad after all.
If what you're doing isn't working give Martha a call
# 215-584-0188 www.marthassingles.com
Monday, November 3, 2014
Mondays with Martha
Singles, Want to make a love connection?
When you're out, Notice the opposite sex. Whether you're at a club or the supermarket; smile, talk to people, be friendly.
For Women: Don't let the rain keep you home. Don't let "I look too fat" stop you. Don't let going out by yourself stop you. (When you come to my events, you're never alone) When you do show up at a singles venue, Don't flock together like a gaggle of geese so absorbed in conversation that you appear not to be interested in men. Look up and around the room. Make eye contact. FLIRT!
What the guys tell me is that women aren't looking at them or showing any interest. It appears to them that you gals are having a grand old time without them. Show them interest. Smile at them and Be Approachable. I understand that your smile or nod may not be returned but to the right one it will be.
For Men: If you see a woman that you may be interested in, Approach! If you get up to bat and strike out, you try again. Women don't want to be rejected and neither do you. But you are the men. Women still want men to be men. So take the chance. You can miss an opportunity you'll never get again.
Martha's Singles: Dating Coaching-Personal Introductions -Singles Events #215-584-0188 www.marthassingles.com
When you're out, Notice the opposite sex. Whether you're at a club or the supermarket; smile, talk to people, be friendly.
For Women: Don't let the rain keep you home. Don't let "I look too fat" stop you. Don't let going out by yourself stop you. (When you come to my events, you're never alone) When you do show up at a singles venue, Don't flock together like a gaggle of geese so absorbed in conversation that you appear not to be interested in men. Look up and around the room. Make eye contact. FLIRT!
What the guys tell me is that women aren't looking at them or showing any interest. It appears to them that you gals are having a grand old time without them. Show them interest. Smile at them and Be Approachable. I understand that your smile or nod may not be returned but to the right one it will be.
For Men: If you see a woman that you may be interested in, Approach! If you get up to bat and strike out, you try again. Women don't want to be rejected and neither do you. But you are the men. Women still want men to be men. So take the chance. You can miss an opportunity you'll never get again.
Martha's Singles: Dating Coaching-Personal Introductions -Singles Events #215-584-0188 www.marthassingles.com
Monday, October 27, 2014
Mondays with Martha
Online Dating? Whether you're on Match or Timber, here are some helpful Tips.
1. Have a great Headline: Let the reader know who you are while being memorable enough to keep them reading. Humor works!
2. Include multiple pictures of yourself: Make sure they're recent. Look at them as if you were the reader. Be appealing. Show your personality.
3. Include your interests: If you like movies say what movies are your favorites. If you like to cook, talk about your popular dishes. If politics or religion are important to you, say that.
4. Have fun with it: Use humor and share a vacation story or a memorable experience. Be interesting and creative.
1. Have a great Headline: Let the reader know who you are while being memorable enough to keep them reading. Humor works!
2. Include multiple pictures of yourself: Make sure they're recent. Look at them as if you were the reader. Be appealing. Show your personality.
3. Include your interests: If you like movies say what movies are your favorites. If you like to cook, talk about your popular dishes. If politics or religion are important to you, say that.
4. Have fun with it: Use humor and share a vacation story or a memorable experience. Be interesting and creative.
Monday, October 20, 2014
Mondays with Martha
Flirting ! Whether you're single and dating or a couple that wants to keep their relationship fun and romantic, never stop flirting. Tease each other. Leave each other random love notes. Send each other suggestive texts. Play footsie under the table. Compliment your partner. If he or she is looking good, tell them! Flirting is playful and you'll let your love interest know that you don’t take them for granted.
When you go on dates take some time getting ready. Show your date (even your husband or wife) that you want to look your best for them. Spend some quality time together. If you're on a budget, you can totally do a date night at home: light some candles, cook dinner together, make a romantic playlist;whatever it takes to make sure it feels like a special night.
When you go on dates take some time getting ready. Show your date (even your husband or wife) that you want to look your best for them. Spend some quality time together. If you're on a budget, you can totally do a date night at home: light some candles, cook dinner together, make a romantic playlist;whatever it takes to make sure it feels like a special night.
Monday, October 13, 2014
Mondays with Martha
Do you really want to meet someone? I'm sure you've heard that he or she is not showing up at your door. Unless it's the mailman or the like, you'll be waiting a long time. We put effort into our friendships, careers and other interests. But when it comes to love we just expect it to happen.
Stop asking where and ask how. You can meet anywhere, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Happy Hours, Singles Events, On-line Dating, Facebook and of course the Supermarket. The question is How will you meet. Will you smile, be friendly and actually talk to the other person? Brush up on your social skills. Romance happens in person. If what you're doing isn't working, there's no shame in hiring a dating coach. What's more important than having love in your life as you balance work and responsibilities? Enjoy the journey.
Stop asking where and ask how. You can meet anywhere, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Happy Hours, Singles Events, On-line Dating, Facebook and of course the Supermarket. The question is How will you meet. Will you smile, be friendly and actually talk to the other person? Brush up on your social skills. Romance happens in person. If what you're doing isn't working, there's no shame in hiring a dating coach. What's more important than having love in your life as you balance work and responsibilities? Enjoy the journey.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Social Circles
Social Circles is a FREE Event the third Tuesday night of every month.
Next Oct. 21st 6 to 7:30pm
Southampton Free Library 947 Street Rd, Southampton PA 18966
Lots of fun. Lively discussions!
Topic: "Who are you and do you want to get to know me?"
Snacks and Beverages Provided. All Ages Welcome! RSVP Today!
Call Martha #215-584-0188.
Monday, September 1, 2014
Mondays with Martha
10 Things That Are Attractive About Girls and Guys With Glasses
1. It’s fun to try and see if you can fog them up, like in cartoons.
2. The right pair of glasses instantly provides an intellectual air, even if you’ve never taken an AP course.
3. Fights are more fun/dramatic when they whip their glasses off in anger.
4. Glasses can say a lot about someone’s personality: Sometimes you can judge a person on the frames. (Thick, black lenses = hipster, small wire frames = sweetly nerdy, colored plastic lenses = creative.)
5. When you have sex, you don’t have to feel self-conscious about your body because they probably can’t see too well without their glasses.
6. There is something charmingly, unwittingly sexy about someone who takes off their glasses and rubs the bridge of their nose, while thinking.
7. That moment when you reach up and take someone’s glasses off.
8. Likewise reaching for your glasses and squintingly slipping them on in the morning.
9. Glasses are great for dating: no asking a person for contact solution or keeping your contacts in glasses of water during unexpected hook-ups.10. The whole Clark Kent/Sexy Librarian fantasy thing.
10. The whole Clark Kent/Sexy Librarian fantasy thing.
by Chiara Atik
Flirting and Body Language
Flirting and Body Language
Flirting and Body Language
Flirting
is defined as the process of making playful romantic or sexual
overtures. It's how we initially express a sexual or romantic interest
in another person. Generally, if you are attracted to a person, you'll
flirt as a way of discovering if they are attracted to you as well.
These flirtatious actions include your conversation, body language,
and/or physical contact. - See more at:
http://www.romancestuck.com/flirting/flirting-body-language.htm#sthash.DkZPcM27.dpuf
- Don't talk about yourself too much. Answer his questions, but be sure to ask questions about him as well.
- Don't talk about yourself too much. Answer his questions, but be sure to ask questions about him as well.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Mondays with Martha
5 Things We Now Know About Successful Dating
Research shows how you can figure out if what you see is what you'll get.
Shutterstock |
1. Humor is tricky.
We’re all attracted to people with a good sense of humor. Wit is a mood-lifter and a day brightener, and laughter creates a sense of intimacy and camaraderie. But humor can also be an effective disguise for insecure people who are actually avoidant of relationships but use humor consistently on first dates., as the work of Claudia Chloe Brumbaugh and Chris R. Fraley showed.
2. Sharing needs boundaries.
Being on a first or second date with someone who’s uncommunicative is no fun, but science knows that too much self-revelation in the initial stages of dating can actually be a red flag. Insecure and anxious people are much more likely to share a great deal of information on a first encounter and do a lot of talking, without making you feel that they are hogging the stage. How they behave may look like openness and honesty at first blush but it really isn’t; they are needy and preoccupied with themselves, and their sharing has to do with them, not you. Similarly, anxious individuals may seem more interesting than the other people you’ve met recently—their stories may be more captivating and dramatic than those of stable and secure types—and that may also have you thinking that they are more attractive. Alas, it won’t be long until the bloom is off the rose; as the researchers write, “It is only later, as relationships are established, that anxiety often becomes a nuisance for partners.”
3. Focus on how a story’s told.
You don’t need research to figure out that someone who talks about himself or herself non-stop for 45 minutes without asking you a single question, or whose every anecdote can be summarized, “Look at me, I'm wonderful!” probably isn’t a good candidate for the long haul. But how can you judge other dates by their stories? Many women and men regard the first and second dates as fact-finding missions, which is a lousy approach because you’ll be likely to miss the nuances of fuller stories. (Of course, if all your date is doing is reciting facts, you already know it’s going to be time to head for the exit soon.)
Listen to both the content of a story and the way it’s told. How a person tells a story and how coherent the narrative is—especially if it involves a pivotal life event—can tell you a lot about his or her personality, character traits, and orientation toward relationships. Ask yourself the following questions as you listen: Is this person reflective by nature? Is he or she trying to make sense of experience or just being a reporter? Is the story an effort to tell you something or is he or she just trying to impress you?
Keep the over-sharing of anxious people in mind as well.
4. Pay attention to disclosure style.
One of the things research has found is that personality traits which can move a relationship along in its initial stages may also prove to be the source of its eventual unraveling. William B. Swann and his colleagues call this the “precarious couple effect,” and their study called “Tempting Today, Troubling Tomorrow” explored what happens when two potential partners have different styles of disclosure. At one end of the spectrum is the uninhibited or blurting style; on the other, the verbally inhibited style. The blurter tends to put every thought and feeling into words pronto and without hesitation; the inhibited person tends to hang back, processing, before he or she speaks. The inhibited may also speak slowly, in contrast to the blurter as well.
The problem is that the combination of these two opposite styles in partners facilitates the early stages of relationships but creates real problems in the long-term. The researchers found that when it was the male who was inhibited, women initially tended not to mind—they interpreted the behavior as a sign of a good and attentive listener which, in turn, tended to facilitate attributing other positive characteristics (patience, kindness, etc.) to him as well. Of course, down the road, being slow to speak or react can look and feel like unresponsiveness or withdrawal. And while a man might be initially attracted by a woman’s loquaciousness because it signals openness and eagerness, the researchers found that ultimately he will withdraw from such a partner, especially if she is both voluble and critical and he feels he can’t get a word in edgewise.
So it’s important to pay attention to the content of your communication with your date and the style of communication. In long-term relationships, couples with very different disclosure styles may be unable to resolve conflicts effectively or maintain a real dialogue.
5. Factor in truthiness.
It’s been found that 81 percent of people lie on their online dating profiles, most often about their age, height, weight, and earning power—and that doesn’t include Photoshopping. In their study “Lying to Get a Date,” Wade C. Rowatt and his co-authors found that the more physically attractive a prospective date was, the more willing both men and women were to lie to get their attention. People were less inclined to lie to meet less attractive potential partners but happy to dissemble about their own appearance, personality, income, past relationship outcomes, and career skills for someone cute. It’s noteworthy that there were no gender differences in this finding.
Other research has found that 46 percent of men and 35 percent of women overall admitted to lying in order to get a date. That doesn’t mean that you will end up on a date with a liar but depending on your gender, the chances are good that you will encounter a fair amount of "truthiness."
When you’ve just started to date, it’s not so much the lie itself you're being told—unless it's something essential, such as lying about being single or convicted of a crime—as the motivation for telling it. In his study of deception in romantic relationships—in which the subjects had to be dating for at least four months—Tim Cole looked at both the primary reasons people lie as well as the effect of those deceptions on the state of relationships. He found that people lie to avoid a partner’s disapproval and make themselves look better; sometimes this can be an act of omission or a whitewashing of the truth (telling someone you dropped out of school instead of flunking out, or being vague about the circumstances that led to becoming unemployed), or an outright lie or fabrication. While these deceptions may help make the person more attractive at the beginning of the relationship—and keep a date from being judgmental—chances are that, at some point, the truth will come out.
The most interesting part of Cole’s study concerned avoidants who lie for different reasons. Avoidants are people who appear to want to be in a relationship, but don't really want intimacy at all. Cole surmises that deception gives the avoidant control over the boundaries in the relationship—he or she knows, given the lie, that there’s a real limit to how close they actually are—and makes him or her feel autonomous. This is the kind of liar who can cause a secure person a great deal of heartache in the long term.
6. Try to have fun.
This isn’t drawn from research, but: Lighten up! If it’s a lousy date, it’s just an hour or two of your life. Practice does make perfect and if you paid attention to the five guidelines above, you may have learned something important about what you really want in a partner.
Published on May 19, 2014 by Peg Streep in Tech Support
Friday, July 4, 2014
Monday, June 30, 2014
Mondays with Martha
Want to improve your relationship? Communication between men and women is a prime factor. Read on........
Key #1
GIVE HIM SPACE–One strategy that works well with men is to tell them something you want their feedback on and then ask them to think about it for a day before answering. It takes men longer than women to process information—especially emotions.
Key #2
SIMPLIFY–Learn to simplify the conversation. If you talk to your man like you do your girlfriends he will just stop listening. A male’s mind is wired to seek out and solve problems. Men have about a 30 second attention span. If you don’t get to the point by then their mind will start looking for other problems to solve. I tell moms to talk to their sons using “sound bite sized” sentences. For longer conversations see Key #7.
Key #3
ONE TOPIC AT A TIME PLEASE–Stick to one topic at a time and let a man know when you’re changing topics. Letting a man know when you are changing topics allows him to shut off that problem solving mode and be open to the new topic. The greatest gift my wife gave me and our son was to let us know when she was changing topics during a discussion. Now she says, “New topic!” whenever she changes subjects. It is a huge relief.
Key #4
BE CONSISTENT–Consistency is very important when communicating with men. Men generally cannot process more than one thing at a time. Men cannot read minds and they do poorly at reading between the lines. If you hint around hoping he’ll “get” it, you’re in for disappointment. Asking if he “Notices anything different about me,” after getting your hair done is like asking a baboon what day of the week it is. Better to say, “How do you like my new hairstyle?” We know how to answer that.
Key #5
LEARN HIS LANGUAGE–Men are much more literal in their conversations than women. When he asks you what is wrong and you say, “Nothing” he will likely take you at your word. Also, the word “Fine” used in a conversation generally has a different meaning to a man than a woman.
Key #6
GIVE HIM A PROBLEM TO SOLVE–Men love to problem-solve. Rather than nagging him about an issue that’s troubling you, say something like, “Honey, I have a problem that I’d really like to get your help with.” Then let him do it his way. Just because a man does something differently than a woman would does not make it wrong.
Key #7
GET PHYSICAL–Since men are action-oriented, go for a walk or hiking, play a round of golf, or even drive on a deserted highway together (so he’s not distracted by traffic) when you want to talk with your man. Physical activity allows his brain to process information and emotions easier.
Key #8
TIMING IS EVERYTHING–If you bombard him with complaints the minute he walks in the door from work, he’s not likely to be willing to listen. Oftentimes, giving him a half-hour to change clothes and decompress will do the trick. Then see Key #6.
Key #9
FIGHT FAIR–Men and women argue differently. You cannot take to heart much of what a man verbalizes when he is upset. He doesn’t think about what comes out of his mouth, especially in the heat of the moment. Unfortunately for men, women do. That’s why men are always apologizing.
Key #10
SPEAK PLAINLY–Remind him often that you just need to be heard, you are not looking for a solution. Tell him that at the beginning of the discussion so that he can switch off his “problem-solving” mode. This may need to be repeated frequently during each discussion for years on end. His desire is to show his love for you by solving your problems. He doesn’t know that women process information, emotions, and draw intimacy through verbal communication (in fact it sounds silly to me even writing it). Hence he doesn’t understand that by just listening, he is solving your problems and showing he loves you.
by Rick Johnson
10 Keys to Talking to a Man (or a Boy)
The following are some keys to successfully communicating with males of all ages. A woman, with her communication skills, can be a big help to the males in her life by helping and guiding them to learn to communicate better instead of being agitated by his lack of skills in this area. Men communicate differently than women. If you try to talk with your man like you do your girlfriend’s you will both probably be disappointed and frustrated. However, if you remember these ten tips you will be cherished and appreciated by the males in your life.Key #1
GIVE HIM SPACE–One strategy that works well with men is to tell them something you want their feedback on and then ask them to think about it for a day before answering. It takes men longer than women to process information—especially emotions.
Key #2
SIMPLIFY–Learn to simplify the conversation. If you talk to your man like you do your girlfriends he will just stop listening. A male’s mind is wired to seek out and solve problems. Men have about a 30 second attention span. If you don’t get to the point by then their mind will start looking for other problems to solve. I tell moms to talk to their sons using “sound bite sized” sentences. For longer conversations see Key #7.
Key #3
ONE TOPIC AT A TIME PLEASE–Stick to one topic at a time and let a man know when you’re changing topics. Letting a man know when you are changing topics allows him to shut off that problem solving mode and be open to the new topic. The greatest gift my wife gave me and our son was to let us know when she was changing topics during a discussion. Now she says, “New topic!” whenever she changes subjects. It is a huge relief.
Key #4
BE CONSISTENT–Consistency is very important when communicating with men. Men generally cannot process more than one thing at a time. Men cannot read minds and they do poorly at reading between the lines. If you hint around hoping he’ll “get” it, you’re in for disappointment. Asking if he “Notices anything different about me,” after getting your hair done is like asking a baboon what day of the week it is. Better to say, “How do you like my new hairstyle?” We know how to answer that.
Key #5
LEARN HIS LANGUAGE–Men are much more literal in their conversations than women. When he asks you what is wrong and you say, “Nothing” he will likely take you at your word. Also, the word “Fine” used in a conversation generally has a different meaning to a man than a woman.
Key #6
GIVE HIM A PROBLEM TO SOLVE–Men love to problem-solve. Rather than nagging him about an issue that’s troubling you, say something like, “Honey, I have a problem that I’d really like to get your help with.” Then let him do it his way. Just because a man does something differently than a woman would does not make it wrong.
Key #7
GET PHYSICAL–Since men are action-oriented, go for a walk or hiking, play a round of golf, or even drive on a deserted highway together (so he’s not distracted by traffic) when you want to talk with your man. Physical activity allows his brain to process information and emotions easier.
Key #8
TIMING IS EVERYTHING–If you bombard him with complaints the minute he walks in the door from work, he’s not likely to be willing to listen. Oftentimes, giving him a half-hour to change clothes and decompress will do the trick. Then see Key #6.
Key #9
FIGHT FAIR–Men and women argue differently. You cannot take to heart much of what a man verbalizes when he is upset. He doesn’t think about what comes out of his mouth, especially in the heat of the moment. Unfortunately for men, women do. That’s why men are always apologizing.
Key #10
SPEAK PLAINLY–Remind him often that you just need to be heard, you are not looking for a solution. Tell him that at the beginning of the discussion so that he can switch off his “problem-solving” mode. This may need to be repeated frequently during each discussion for years on end. His desire is to show his love for you by solving your problems. He doesn’t know that women process information, emotions, and draw intimacy through verbal communication (in fact it sounds silly to me even writing it). Hence he doesn’t understand that by just listening, he is solving your problems and showing he loves you.
by Rick Johnson
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