Monday, January 23, 2012

Mondays with Martha

Well, it's January 23rd today. That was my wedding anniversary date. If I didn't get divorced I  would have been married for, well let's just say a long time. Lately, mostly because of The New Year and my own experience, I've been thinking a lot about relationships.
In regard to that, things have changed over the years and I don't see it for the better. Much of the problem is that communication is worse than it used to be. With texting very short messages or e-mailing a couple of sentences,  the temperament of what you're saying can come across as cold and can easily be misunderstood. Romance needs to grow and develop. Men and women need to talk. They need to hear each others voice, and the words. Hear the tone whether it's sensitive, sexy, light, or nervous, hesitant or angry. 
As Patti Stanger would say in #11 of her Millionaire Matchmaker's 11 Commandments of Dating for Women
(Men, pay attention here.)
 #11. Thou Shall Break the Text Habit
You're not in high school, so stop passing notes. If you do, he may actually call you. Remember, a woman falls in love between her ears, not her eyes! And while you're at it, step away from the computer. Get out of the chat zone and into reality. If you stop IMing so quickly, he (again) might just call you.
Of course, as I learned recently, some people have become used to these bad habits. When asked to call instead, they did but not as often as they e-mailed. Then when something uncomfortable or difficult comes up, the phone calls stop and the other person doesn't know what happened. Some singles today hide behind technology and shy away from talking things out or clearing up  a misunderstanding. They just don't make the effort. It may be that some fear rejection but they also may be missing an opportunity for a truly loving and deeper relationship.

 If you meet someone you feel a connection with, Don't let insecurities and over thinking sabotage a possibly wonderful relationship. Take the chance if you're concerned about something  bring it up on the phone or better yet in person.


  1. i agree completely. but, as they say, men dont mature as quicklyn as women!! lolol

  2. Today, the men can be older and still use texting or e-mail which is okay for a quick message but does not promote romance or intimacy.