Monday, February 13, 2012

Mondays with Martha

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Let's Fall in Love!


SHOWING UP - To love, one has to get there, to be there.  One must show up. Where one shows up matters too. If one shows up on state mental hospital steps, one will most probably meet state mental hospital residents. Some of them may be the best people in the world. But is that the place where one wants to go fishing? Fish where the salmon are spawning.

BEING PRESENT - Don't be  just there; be all there. With all of yourself. Every fiber of your  being present and accounted for. (Okay, maybe not every single fiber...) But not parceled out, divided, distracted, disassociated.   Do not remember past failures or predict future losses. You need to be  in the immediate present which is drenched with the experiencing of the now. All signals are  go.

SAYING YES - For love to work and to be mutual, the parties involved need to say yes to each other and keep saying yes. There needs to be a mutual affirmation of the relationship and its moving forward. As Woody Allen said so well in Annie Hall, a relationship is like a shark. It either keeps moving forward or it dies. At various choice points the two in the couple need to keep taking the fork in the road marked 'yes' rather than the one marked "no".

Taken from an advice article by Dr. Neil Friedman

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